Jaytalking

Hi everyone! Jay here. Joann is kind enough to let me use her blog as a sounding board when I need it, since I am far too lazy to set up or maintain a blog of my own.

First of all, thank you for your kind notes about my head/nose injury. I still have a nasty cut on my nose, but the swelling/goose-egg has gone down. I am just glad I didn't pass out in the street and get run over. My vision did fade to black for a second or so, and I thought I saw a long tunnel with a light at the end (with harp music), but I refused to go into the light, and instead returned to Ohio.

And I still got groceries, so we know I'm gonna be okay. A boy's gotta eat you know.

Anyway, I wanted to share something that made me smile. It's not very Christian of me to be smiling at it though. Because it's one of those schadenfreude moments, which of course is that German word meaning pleasure taken from someone else's misfortune.

The story starts in the 80's, as most stories of mine do. Every male was being told they shouldn't feel good about themselves, since they could never acquire all the cool toys in The Sharper Image catalog:

And no one was riding higher than the company's own founder: that unholy high priest of materialism, Richard Thalheimer:

Richard opened the company with his famous statement "men are bad shoppers". Cute, but also asinine. You see, a thing called the internet came along, which was succeeded by comparison-shopping sights, online auction sites, and the like. Meanwhile, Richard was clinging to 1989, acting like his $1000 CD player was the only game in town.

In 2004, Sharper Image stock was enjoying a lofty price of $32.74 a share. Hmmmm. Wonder what would have happened if you had plunked down $1000 as an investor? Well, if you take a looksie at the stock today, you'll see it's now at a moribund 22 cents a share. Your $1000 would have turned into $6.72.

Nice.Going.Richard. BWAHAHAHA!

But there's hope, right? After all, they have remaining mall stores (you can locate them by listening for sounds of dying breath-gasps). But they filed for bankruptcy last month. This is where it gets better: They announced that their gift certificates (of which they had sold $42.6 million worth of) are now WORTHLESS. Yes, that's right, for the first time in the history of the world, a retail store will not take its own certificates. BWAHAHAHA!

After customers formed a raging mob that would make Mutiny On The Bounty look like a walk in a sunny park, the store back-pedaled and said the certificates may be used but only on purchases for more than double the certificate's value. Cold comfort.

So is there hope? Nope. As of today, the company has $804,000 remaining in cash, and $68 million in debt. Oops.

As for Richard, his own company chased him out of there in May, 2007. So what's he doing? At the age of 60, he is trying to start over. Kind of heartwarming, as we know stories like those of Colonel Sanders or Mae West, whose careers didn't even take off until after 60. He is running a new business entirely by himself, appropriately called RichardSolo. But there's a problem: he sells ugly watches that range in price from $395 to $945. Sound familiar? It should. The Sharper Image's first product was a shock-proof jogger's watch. Has Richard heard the phrase "History repeats itself"? Doesn't seem like it. Maybe he has, but he is forgetting what happens in the second-half of the story.

Men ARE good shoppers, Richard, and your greed and selective-memory are going to take your last dime. Again.

Sorry, I can't hold it in. Just one more time.... BWAHAHAHA!

Jay wins for suckiest day

Jay might win for the worst day today. He went to work in horrible weather. He stayed even though all the businesses around his work, including a mall were shut down. He had to. Others walked out. "There will be consequences," the bosses bellowed. He finished his shift and then broke down in an intersection coming home.

Then it really gets bad.

He opens the hood to fiddle with some wires and boom, the hood came down on his head and nose. He said he blacked out for just a second. Then he came to and got in his car and looked in the rearview mirror at a bloody face staring back at him. He drives home in HORRIBLE weather, weather that has caused the sheriff to restrict driving. He decides to get groceries along the way. He gets stuck. He gets home to find the driveway too full of snow to get to the garage. He had to shovel his driveway just to get into the garage.
Let's not forget the rather unpleasant calls he took while at work.... He came home and went to bed. To add insult to injury, there was a driving ban and if he were pulled over, he could have been fined or arrested just for driving home from work.

Yes, he had a swell day. A swelling forehead and nose that is.... Poor Jay

Woo look at the snow!

snow ramp

keep warm little guy!

I just got done making yellow and chocolate cupcakes with the girls. If we are going to be snowed in, we might as well eat well! The girls are fighting over who has more sprinkles. I must have patience....

I took a couple of pictures out the window a couple hours ago. Now there is even more snow! I hope Jay can even get in the driveway. I shoveled but it just blew back over.

The snow is beautiful, though. It makes every one's yard so pristine.

If you want a good laugh

..go straight to the Easter card department at Target. Look at the funny ones. Oh my goodness they were so funny. I was laughing so hard that Emily kept shushing me and finally just walked away from me, all disgusted with her laughing mother. I am not kidding; they are that funny.

I really should be studying for my dreaded math midterm. But that's way too practical. Instead, I will feed Millie, help Jay find some sticky notes, peruse pictures... you know anything but study!

So here's a picture I recently took of Tara. She went away to the playroom for a long time. Then she asked me to come see her talent show. Ahh the energy and imagination of a child. I so love Tara and Emily!

Thoughts that don't relate...

Tara's teeth are coming in with weird brown stains. This worries me. I guess she'll have to have some veneers or something.

School is hard and tiring. Midterms and projects next week and the following week.

Emily is doing well in school this term, all A's and B's!

The girls are having a sleepover in Tara's room tonight.

Jay is off of work for tomorrow.

We ate at Friday's. Very tasty stuff.

Then we went to Target for ice cream. I bought cherry tic tacs, was so excited, they were so bad. Tara wouldn't even eat 'em. She spit them out on the ground!

Saw Nance, hope life stops kicking you down. You deserve much better.

Whose house for card games?????????????

brrrr and grrrr

Well the boiler was replaced, as were many existing pipes to the boiler last year. But the house felt neglected I supposed and for the last couple of days, we haven't had heat. We have been using space heaters to heat the children's rooms and have given them blankets and heavy clothes to wear.

The heater people say it's a pipe under the house that must have broken and that the boiler is working fine. So when we turn on the boiler, the water pressure instantly drains out making the boiler useless. A few hundred calls later to every plumber and heater person in town, someone is coming this afternoon to look at it. He's promising nothing.

I have to laugh. I went out to get the mail today and usually shiver when I first go out in the cold. This time I went out and it felt like walking inside our house. No difference.

I will never again take my heat for granted.